He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
