ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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