You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
its liver damage thursday
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
