do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
