Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Randomize
