I'm going to jail i love you
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
