Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
