Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
