Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
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