i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I need to sanitize my soul.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
