just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
