what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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