New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
