I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
