I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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