summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
