yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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