9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
