Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
