i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
