The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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