I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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