i just google imaged poop.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i think we sleep fucked last night...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
