please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
