she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
