just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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