I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i've created a new STD.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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