Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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