THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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