I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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