with your own penis?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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