she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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