We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
