I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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