TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
