I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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