Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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