So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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