Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
