I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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