PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
