Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
