I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
