i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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