There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
