my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
