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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  But what if he licks everyones ass?

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.

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• (716): View more from New York

  your facebook page is a work of drunk art.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.

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• (830): View more from Texas

  we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Someone signed my nipple.

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