man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
