Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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