my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
