There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
