So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
