Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
