Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
