So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
