i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
