You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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