you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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