we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
