WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
