I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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