I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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