Too much gin, very little bucket
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
