So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize