He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize